Ask the Expert: ‘Am I flaunting being at the office?’ Petrow By Petrow 1:00pm EDT Q: “My co-worker in the adjacent cubicle is accusing me of displaying too things that say ‘-.’ Sure, I’ve got a rainbow, several of my lover and me, and even a poster of Franco from the movie Milk. I think it’s fine and no one seems to care. What do I tell him to get him to back off?” – D., Oakland, CA. A: How about starting with: “Why do you need to display so things that say ‘straight’?” Okay that would be a bit rude—but do you what I mean? Don’t your straight colleagues put up or knick-knacks that in one way or another show people that they’re heterosexual? Pictures of their husbands or wives? What about a movie poster with, say, Lopez or Aniston? How about that plaque on some guy’s office wall commending him for years of service to the Boy Scouts of, which prohibits gays from joining? (That’s not only shouting “straight,” it’s practiy screaming homophobia.) My point is that of the objects we’re used to seeing around—and read as neutral—actually do convey lots about us and our identities. Your straight colleague might not be aware of what his cube décor says to others. In fact, for straights – surrounded by so other straights – their office bric-a-brac just becomes the norm and whatever you do becomes at best, different. All too often we’re accused of flaunting our “lifestyle,” when in fact we’re just living our lives. Recently, a friend of mine asked in a company meeting about domestic partner benefits for LGBT people and heard that others thought it was “inappropriate” to be asking for special benefits. He later learned that there was nothing special about them; that in fact, he had to pay extra tax on value of his partner’s health insurance.